Over the weekend, Charlie, in his 90’s, passed away. On Friday night I got him ready for bed and when I went to wake him the following morning, he was gone. Intellectually I knew him time was coming but no matter how much one prepares it still comes as a shock.
Writing helps me to deal with things and so, today, I share Charlie with you.
Charlie made it into his 90’s. He was one of seven siblings, all of whom had already passed. He left behind the legacy of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Charlie grew up in Texas and outwardly he was a stereotypical old-fashioned Texan. He always wore jeans, boots, really colorful cowboy shirts and one of his many cowboy hats. He could cuss with the best of them. He loved to play the guitar and sing. When he was young, he played in bars. He loved to camp, hunt and fish. He enjoyed the outdoors and took our kids on innumerable weekend adventures. He was generous. If he saw you needed something, he would be there to help unasked.
He was a social butterfly and loved to talk. I used to say that if no one was around, he would talk to a wall. He loved to tell jokes, clean and dirty. He had a vast repertoire and could tell an appropriate joke to fit the situation and person.
Charlie loved to eat. He liked everything. It came from growing up in a home with lots of brothers and sisters. He made sure his plate was always clean so that his siblings didn’t get his food. He ate fast and as a result, in his declining years it caused aspiration pneumonia.
He loved his family deeply both the one he was born into and the one he made over the years. While he was able, he went to the Clark family reunion every year. At times he was tough on our kids, but it was always out of love. Each grew up to become someone of which he was always proud…a law enforcement officer, a registered nurse and a firefighter.
Charlie was a gifted athlete. In his senior year he was recruited to play baseball, but he chose not to do so. After his high school graduation, he left home to join the Air Force and was stationed at Luke Air Force Base. I don’t think he liked being in the military. It was too orderly, confining and rigid for him. He would often say, I did my 3 years, 11 months and 22 days at Luke Air Force Base as an aircraft mechanic as if it was some sort of penance.
Charlie had great mechanical skills. He was a do-it-yourself kind of guy. He even added a room to our old home, weekend by weekend. He repaired nearly everything including our cars. No calls for a plumber, carpenter or electrician needed. Charlie fixed all.
This is Charlie from this January. He could still use a wheelchair and would cruise around the pool, looking at everything as if it were for the first time. He would pick a couple of oranges, peel them and eat them leaving the remnants for me and the birds to clean up.
For a brief time after leaving the Air Force, he was a dairy farmer in Utah. He loved it and often talked about that life. He lost the farm because he wasn’t Mormon and couldn’t compete financially with those farmers who were. He was married and divorced while there.
He came back to Arizona, and we met and married 51 years ago. He became a union electrician and in those early years he wired homes in the original Sun City. He then became a cell tower electrician. One of his proudest moments was going to New York City immediately after 911 to install temporary cell phone sites. After that he traveled a great deal, installing cell phone sites throughout the southwest and northwest, often in remote locations. So, one of the reasons you can use your cell when traveling from Phoenix to Las Vegas or Los Angeles is because Charlie installed a cell phone tower near some lonely stretch of road. When we went to California he would point out the cell towers he had installed.
Charlie had always loved playing golf and would practice every chance he got. When he retired, he really got into it. He and his buddies would play every week and when he wasn’t playing, he was practicing. He always wanted to go to Scotland to play the famous courses but by the time we could afford it he was in no shape to do so. The only TV he watched religiously was the golf channel.
About nine years ago Charlie had a stroke and so began the last chapter of his life. That was the first time we heard the dreaded word, dementia. He was diagnosed as mild at first and functioned well, but you could see the signs of relenting forgetfulness. The forgetfulness deepened over the years. He began to get Sundowner’s and the evenings became contentious.
He had pneumonia three times the last being in May of this year. He aspirated his food, meaning it would go down the wrong way and end up in his lungs causing yet another bout of pneumonia. These bouts were always accompanied by an infection of some sort…UTI, sepsis.
He was always weaker and the dementia was more pronounced every time he came back from the hospital. This last time he finally became bedridden. There were only occasional bouts of Sundowners but at night I could often hear him talking to his deceased brothers.
His heart finally gave out. His time had come.
They say every life matters and it is true. We touch people throughout our lives. Charlie did so with humor. He left his mark.
Charlie wasn’t very religious although I know that he believed in God. Charlie didn’t want a service and wanted to be cremated and so, I honor his wishes. He touched many people. Most of all, he left his legacy with our family. We will miss him.
I will miss him but not the Charlie of the past nine years but the Charlie before that. I will miss the Charlie that told jokes; the Charlie that loved the outdoors; the Charlie that loved golf; the Charlie that was a happy soul; and the Charlie that loved his family.
My grief is profound, but I ask God to quell my soul and to take Charlie into His loving arms. As you read this, I ask you to say a prayer for Charlie.
Goodbye Charlie, we will miss you. I will miss you.
© Joyce Clark, 2026
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